I am sitting here on this Thursday afternoon, camped out on the couch, laptop... where else, on my lap. On the other side of the couch, curled up in a little ball, sits Brooklyn - home from school today because she doesn't feel good. Upstairs in her crib, snoozing the afternoon away, is little Kensi. Part of me is cringing because I have work to get done. I have things that need to be finished. Another part of me is reveling in the ability to sit here, on my couch, in the middle of the afternoon, doing nothing. (Well, blogging, but otherwise - nothing.) The laundry basket sits in the middle of the floor, clothes folded, waiting to be hauled upstairs and put away. Bags from a recent Target trip sit on the kitchen floor, their contents waiting to find a home. Valentine's Decorations have been taken down and St. Patty's Day decorations wait to be hung. But here I sit on the couch, content in the knowledge that I can stay here for a few more hours, if I want to. (That is, until Kensi wakes up and wants to eat)
A few weeks ago, Brooklyn had a dance at her school, for grades K-2, the "Family Dance." We planned for Daddy to take B, and I would go along with Kensi, just to stay for a little while and take some pictures. I ended up staying for the whole dance, pushing Kensi around in her stroller (and handing her over to other PTA ladies to get their "fix,") and taking pictures of Brooklyn and her friends dancing and having fun. (The chocolate fountain was a hit with the boys!) At the end of the dance, as parents collected coats and kids, I had a flash of memory of things at my elementary school, of parties and peformances and spaghetti dinners. Somewere tangled up in those memories was a feeling of comfort, of belonging, of things being "right." The thought that followed that flash of memory was that I wanted to be that parent. You know, the one who goes to all of the performances and helps in the classroom and seems to be everywhere all at once. Yes, I want to be that parent.
Why? Not because I think I am supermom. Not because I didn't have that growing up (my Mom was homeroom mom for me several years, going on field trips and even painting ceramic ornaments for all of the kid in my 6th grade class - although I will admit that the years she didn't do it, I missed having her there). But because I enjoy it, and because I think Brooklyn will like having me around for those things and I hope she will appreciate it. And because, strangely, I like this stuff. (I've had a few of the other PTA moms give me big "thank you!s" for taking on Book Fair - I just thought it would be fun. Yes, it's alot of work, but could there be a better place to stick me, than surrounded by books and coming up with crafty things for decorations?)
My inner desire to be the "perfect mom" took over at Valentine's Day too. Brooklyn was excited for the day, with all of the activities going on at school (her LOVE program - if you haven't seen the footage, check out Rob's YouTube page- and exhanging valentines and the valentine grams going around.) We didn't have a big "date night" planned for Rob and I and we shared the evening with the girls. I decided to cook dinner (yes, it happens once in awhile) and while running errands earlier in the day, I picked up a few decorations and balloons. Kensi helped a little bit (if you can call sitting in her carrier and screaming while we were in the party store "helping") and while she was napping, I decorated. When Brooklyn came home from school, she wanted to help too, so she mixed up the salad and helped set the table. (We actually used the dining room.)
When all was said and done, Brooklyn loved the balloons and the decorations and I had fun putting it all together. She didn't want me to take them down, but since I have to make room for St. Patty's Day, I did. We're not Irish, but it is such a fun day, I decided the house will be a little "green." And of course, I think it's what "that" mom would do.