Pre-School Pimps

Yup, I said it. We are turning our preschoolers out onto the streets, asking them to pimp.... Wrapping paper. WHAT??? Yes, wrapping paper.

When I dropped Brooklyn off at school on Monday, there in her folder along with her book of shapes and her latest marker masterpiece was the dreaded envelope with catalog and order form. Wrapping paper.

It doesn't matter that the school gets 50% of the profit (but they neglect to tell you how much "profit" the company makes on each roll of paper). It doesn't matter that they have Hanukkah paper (always important when the children hawking the wares go to school at a Jewish Preschool). What matters is that even at age 2, we are asking our children to go and beg for money. Nice.

And what makes it all the more comical, is that the 2 year olds don't even know they are selling it. Yes, it's cute to put the catalog in their hands and push them up to Grandma and coach them through their sales pitch. But at this point, why bother? Everyone knows who is really selling the wares. Mom and Dad.

I cut out the middle man. I sent an email to friends (most of whom already have children in school and who have likely already been hit up for the very same paper, chocolate and magazines) and family, and just told them what we were selling. I took the catalog to the office and let the ladies pass it around. I didn't pimp out my child. She has no clue she is selling anything, or that the school will see any money. She will likely not see any of the "Prizes" that she will "earn" for selling. Mommy will pass around the order form and mommy will collect the money and mommy will distribute the wares when the orders come in.

Maybe they should change the prizes. Instead of the cheap chotckes for the kids, the prizes should be trips to the day spa for the mommys who are really pushing the stuff. That would certainly motivate some sales, don't you think? Move over Tupperware, we're selling wrapping paper to win the trip to Burke Williams. Now that is certainly something worth selling for. The heck with the MP3 player.

Ah well, so it begins. I'm sure this is only the first of many catalogs and sales pitches that we will endure. Having sold cheese and sausage (for band) and M&Ms and Gummi Bears (for Track) and Magazines (in 5th and 6th grade), I've got experience. At some point, I'm sure I will put the catalog in B's hand and send her door to door. But for now, I'll just write the check myself and buy all of the Hanukkah paper they offer. After all, it's for the kids.